Ooops! I did it again!

I watched the Video MTV Awards last night.

Someone needs to stop me from dong this to myself, and God bless him my husband tried.

Actually for a 43 year old woman with no children, I recognized more people than I expected. That's because in the morning while hubby finishes getting ready I watch the digital music video stations, so at least I have a general idea of who's who.

I would have liked to have seen Shakira win, but her performance was wonderful as was Justin Timberlake's. And the big winners of the night *Panic! At the Disco*, although I don't quite understand why they seem so angry were entertaining enough I suppose.

So it wasn't really the music - it was some people's behavior. It started with the Pre-Show. OK, yes, I saw part of the pre-show, I'm telling you it's like a train wreck I can't take my eyes off it! Anyway, during the pre-show for some reason P Diddy, or Puffy, or Puff Daddy, or whatever the hell he calls himself now decided he wasn't going to speak to the MTV guy that was interviewing him - he had some toady speak for him. Puffy just stood there nodding his head, looking all dapper and communicating by nods, and facial expressions with his "speaker" who would then tell the MTV guy. Oh, I'm thinking, he has laryngitis - hmmm, how odd. But NO! He didn't have laryngitis, he later presented someone during the show and his voice was perfectly fine - he was just being an ass!

Still on Diddy, at one point he hands the MTV guy a cigar and through his interpreter tells him to smoke it. The MTV guy makes this big to do about how he can't smoke it on the air, but he'll smoke it later - and as he's leaving the interview area, again P has his guy tell the MTV guy to be sure to smoke the cigar and the MTV guy - again - says he can't smoke on the air. Excellent. Don't smoke on the air, don't want to set a bad example. Fine. Later on during the show - another bunch of angry white boys – don’t know the name of the band - wins and the guy goes to the podium to accept the award with a drink in his hand, already half-soused and proceeds to tell everyone that he is going to get "totally trashed". A while later, who should show up to introduce someone but good ol' Snoop Dogg - with a huge glass of what appears to be OJ, but we know better. Sure enough, during his spiel he tells us he would rather be "smoking something but since he's on MTV, he'll just stick to drinking!" And along the way the level of inebriation in some sectors of the crowd increased exponentially.

SO...you can't smoke a frickin' frackin' cigar on MTV but you can be drunk out of your mind *and* announce to the youth of America that you're going to get drunker! Lovely.

The worst of all however, bar none, no question, were the "people" - and I use the term as loosely as possible - from "Jackass". OK - what the hell is that? I'll wait here while someone can come up with a reasonable explanation as to why these entities are allowed on television or anywhere. I'll sit while I wait, if you don't mind.

They were apparently in charge of something during the show, as they kept appearing, getting dumber, and drunker and cruder and more annoying as the evening progressed. The first time they appeared - there's a pack of them - there was one naked midget (his unmentionables were blurred), and a bunch of other idiots. So, the apparent head idiot decides that he's going to stick his fingers into a battery operated military field phone. "Why would he do that?" you ask. Well, that's because *you're* normal. He sticks his fingers in these socket thingies and an assistant idiot cranks up the battery and of course, proceeds to electrocute the head idiot. When he pulls out his fingers the tips are burnt bloody. WOOEEE what fun!

The one good thing to come of the VMAs was Al Gore's appearance. He was fabulous! He was funny, he was interesting - he just showed up to plug his web site about the environment. The audience went wild* when he appeared - it was great. You know what? I think Gore is going to run for President in 2008! At this point, he may be my candidate!

OK. I've ranted long enough...for now!