I Hit the Wall #1

So...here it is Day 17 of NaBloPoMo and I have hit the proverbial wall...I got nuthin'. But I knew this was going to happen and I prepared for it. A hundred years ago when I wanted to "improve my craft" (stop laughing at me!) I bought something called A Tool Kit for Writers. I am using it today. Here we go...

The the "innovative card designed to help me break through writer's block" (according to the back of the box) that I chose says "Write a Letter".

(blinks) I don't need to write a letter.

OK fine...this has been on my mind since Tuesday. I've Facebooked it (yes I made it a verb), I kvetched about it at work, I Plurked about it, so here we go.

Dear Domino's Pizza,

Let me start by commending you on your vastly improved pizza. The changes you've advertised are, in fact, awesome. Yay you!

Now to the point of this letter (other than the NaBloPoMo thing). I am going to explain to you why you shouldn't cut your thin crust pizza into teeny-tiny squares.

Basically, it's stupid. If I wanted hors d' ouevres I'd buy Totino's Pizza Rolls and shove a toothpick in 'em. I don't want cocktail food - I want dinner!

We ordered a thin crust Pacific Vegetable, which is delicious. But, the pieces were so damned tiny they couldn't even hold a black olive! I can't get yummy pizza goodness in a 1" x 1" square. I need a triangular slice the way God intended pizza to be eaten! That way the plethora of veggies can get all up in there.

Now, I'll happily eat a slice of Sicilian pizza cut into squares. Or the fantastic tomato pie we get in the Philly suburbs which is also cut in squares. *They're* cut in big pieces - at least 3" on each side - I can actually taste the pizza! But those ridiculous little tid-bits you inflict on us are useless. And messy. And just...no!

If you must continue being wrong and cutting it into miniscule bites, then at least gives us the opportunity to tell you to cut them *correctly* when we order online. There's nowhere to write "special instructions". So here I sat sadly eating miniature pizza molecules.

Everything else is fabulous...now strive for perfection and do the right thing.

Hugs and Kisses,
Me.

There...I made it through Day 17.