The Mind Wobbles

So many things to absorb, think about, deal with and put up with - it simply makes the mind wobble...

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

What songs would make your Top Ten Worst Songs list?

***Disclaimer: I have absolutely no musical talent and therefore have no business criticizing anyone who does. I do not claim nor believe these are *THE* ten worst songs ever – these are merely the ten worst songs for me. Having said that…prepare yourselves for my totally unsolicited opinion.

Hilda’s Ten Worst Songs List (#1 being the worst of the worst)

10 – Achy Breaky HeartBilly Ray Cyrus – really people? I mean come on!

9 – I Just Called To Say I Love YouStevie Wonder – I know, I know, Stevie Wonder! He’s a genius! Yes I KNOW, and I loves me my Stevie, but this song bugs me

8 – Seasons in the SunTerry Jacks – Oy! Just kill me now. “Goodbye Papa (pronounced PAH PAH) please pray for me I was the black sheep of the family”. I’m a fan of the tragic teenage death songs but this one…just no.

7 – Muskrat LoveCaptain and Tennille – It’s about RATS! Or close enough. I so don’t need to know about Muskrat Suzy and Muskrat Sam jitterbugging in Muskrat Land. (shudder)

6 – Escape (The Piña Colada Song)Rupert Holmes – This is NOT a romantic song people! It’s about a couple who were going out with the specific intention of cheating on each other! That’s horrible.

5 – We Are FamilySister Sledge – I hate songs that repeat stuff over and over. This song irks me.

4 – Having My BabyPaul Anka – Just ewwww. Creepiest.Song.Ever. Let’s look at some of the words, shall we?

Having my baby,
What a lovely way of saying how much you love me
, (What, she couldn’t get him a card?)
Having my baby,
What a lovely way of saying what you're thinking of me
” (A phone call maybe? Just sayin’)


Oh the seed inside you,
Baby do you feel it growing
” (Do you really want to be thinking about Paul Anka’s “seed”?)

3 – My Heart Will Go OnCeline Dion – “Celine Dion” and “Titanic”. ‘Nuff said.

2 – Barbie GirlAqua – Worst.Earworm.Ever. Pretty much everything about this song is bad. The lyrics, the voices, the music, the video, the bald guy. All of it.

And the Number 1 Worst Song Ever according to Hilda:

1 - Don’t Worry Be HappyBobby McFerrin – OH MY GOD! This song makes me clench. If I never ever ever heard this song again it would be too soon.

***Honorable Mention – And DO NOT JUDGE ME! – Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin.

OK stop.

I KNOW Led Zeppelin is considered by many as the ohmygod best band in the history of everything. Fine. I fully acknowledge their impact and importance and transcendence and influence and the fact they survived the use of unquantifiable amounts of drugs. And I love love love the Robert Plant/Alison Krauss collaboration Raising Sand. But Stairway… is just sooooooo long and pompous and that interminable guitar solo from hell.

I just don’t get it. So sue me.

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